don't just look at her ass, eat it

sorry for party daraching
Cuffed

khaleesimaka:

I looked back at the prompt, and this was not it. Oh well. Also, it was a lot hotter in my head this morning and warning nsfw.

This was not how he originally planned on spending his Friday night, but honestly he really couldn’t complain.

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kouaoi:

WhEN yOuR OTP MAKES YOUr hEArt dO THE tinGLY TINgly

heathenist:

Anime is finally a reality

agirlcalledfrost asked: "OH OH OH PLEASE TELL US A BOARDING SCHOOL STORY PRETTY PLEASE"

leupagus:

ofgeography:

zacharonieandcheese:

ofgeography:

so my school had this thing called “senior skip day,” except that senior skip day didn’t exist and every year the administration sent out emails in the spring that were like DON’T FUCKIN SKIP CLASS OR YOU WILL RECEIVE RESTRICTION (restriction was like, my boarding school’s equivalent of detention where instead of staying after school you had to go to bed early and help stuff envelopes advertising the summer program until your hands were BLOODIED AND CRIPPLED BY CARPAL TUNNEL) and every year the seniors were like YOLO THEY CAN’T PUNISH ALL OF US!!!!!

  • spoiler alert: yes they can? THEY ALWAYS CAN.
  • 200 years of american high school and teenagers still think that there is a cap limit on kids in detention and that you can leave after 15 minutes if the teacher doesn’t show up.

anyway, my senior year, we all got together and nattered at each other until some brave soldier (i feel like it was my friend paula but WHO KNOWS) was like “OK SENIOR SKIP DAY IS THIS THURSDAY!!!! NOBODY GO TO CLASS OR UR A SCAB.”

  • she didn’t say scab because she’s not from the 1920s and we aren’t newsies, though this story would be way more interesting if we were
  • what she said was “YOLO THEY CAN’T PUNISH ALL OF US!!!!!”
  • except not yolo because it was 2009 and drake hadn’t been invented yet except as a dear sweet boy in a wheelchair.

we also used this email system to communicate with one another that has very deeply informed the way i understand email and which probably makes it very frustrating to be my friend and receive emails that have subject lines like “URGENT” and then just 42 links to the same florida georgia line youtube video.

  • I’M NOT ASHAMED, but in that way where like i kind of AM ashamed so i’m really aggressively NOT ashamed? 

so the day of reckoning rolls around and my alarm goes off at 8 (class started at 8:05 but i liked to PLAY WITH FIRE when it came to being late; my mom actually asked the school to stop emailing her when i was a sophomore because i was late so often that their rote “Mrs. Ofgeography we are emailing you to say—” was CLOGGING UP HER INBOX and she was like “i GET IT MY CHILD IS THE MOST BORING MISCREANT OF ALL TIME.”) and i looked at my roommate elle and she looked at me and went, “you going?”

"hell no," i said. "YOLO. they can’t punish all of us."

elle, who was far prettier and far cooler than i was with the notable exception of her obsession with tswift’s “love story” and her tendency to look at the endangered species list and cry sometimes during study hall, quickly bizounced across the street to this shopping center thing where all the cool kids smoked in secret where huge trucks dropped off clothes for the Dress Barn. i think there were also tennis courts nearby. more importantly there was this chinese food delivery place and a lil restaurant that made HELLA BAGELS.

  • WHAT KIND OF BAGELS?
  • FUCKIN
  • HELLA.

off goes elle! meanwhile i’m like, “yessssss i’m gonna use senior skip day to watch 14 hours of tv shows and eat frozen peanut butter bars that i stole from the dining hall! I’M GONNA LIVE LIKE I’M 23 ALONE IN CHICAGO ON A WEEKEND WHEN MY ONLY PLAN IS TAKEOUT AND CUDDLING WITH THE FAUX-SNOW-LEOPARD BLANKET I WILL ONE DAY SURELY OWN.” 

of course, during this time the administration was continuing to send out emails that reminded us with increasing urgency that senior skip day was NOT A THING and that we were ALL GETTING RESTRICTION if we didn’t get our STUPID ASSES TO CLASS, GODDAMNIT, WE ARE NOT RUNNING A CIRCUS HERE. 

but i was like! yolo, motherfuckers!!! i already got into college, YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME.

at some point during the day elle and our friend ginna came back to the room with takeout from the chinese delivery place and we sat on our floor eating it and probably watching veronica mars or looking at the endangered species list and crying.

all of a sudden, elle said, “guys shut up, guys shut up, GUYS SHUT UP,” and ginna and i were like, “WHAT we have a LOT to SAY about FRIED FUCKING DUMPLINGS, ELLE," and elle said, "did you hear that?"

"hear what?"

that!”

'that' was the sound of one of our dorm moms, mrs. f, knocking on doors and saying things like, “IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTTS TO CLASS IN 5 MINUTES YOU'RE ON CATEGORY 4 RESTRICTION FOREVER.” elle quickly scampered up our raised beds to hide in the corner, where a tiny human like elle could actually hide from view; i leapt immediately into what we called a closet but was basically a cubby with a flap that was DEFINITELY not meant for a 5'8” individual with knobby as hell knees.

our door, which was never locked because we both hated the effort of typing in the lock code, opened. mrs. f said, “mollyhall?”

i held my breath. 

  • i should add here that i seemed to be operating on like a scooby-doo level of logic where basically i thought that she was somehow NOT ALLOWED to investigate?
  • like, if she can’t see me, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that she could prove i’m in here, right?
  • she’ll just poke her head in and be like oH GOSH NO KIDS HERE and leave!!

you can see the flaw in my logic.

mrs. f sighed. “mollyhall, i know you’re in here, i literally heard your voice ten seconds ago.”

  • there’s no WAY she guesses i’m in the closet!!!

"mollyhall, i know you’re in the closet."

  • NO YOU DON’T
  • I AM SCHRÖDINGER’S SENIOR

"mollyhall—"

there was a creak. mrs. f stopped. it wasn’t actually a “creak,” so much as this like, prolonged groan? like it’s the sound an elephant would make if it sat on a really large accordion.

i poked my head out of the closet. mrs. f looked at me. elle sat up.

i said, “where’s ginna?”

  • YOU KNOW WHERE GINNA WAS.

"um," said elle, "she’s in the—"

  • GINNA NO

ginna yes.

i really wish i could describe the sound the ceiling made when it collapsed. it sounded a lot like the way losing your breath feels. i sort of remember ginna falling in like, really slow motion, like i could see the expression on her face. i didn’t really think about how i would describe this in words. ginna’s face said:

  • oh no.
  • what have i done?
  • this was a mistake. 
  • i regret a series of decisions that i have made.
  • is there a way out of this?
  • are those oreos under mollyhall’s pillow?
  • why are there oreos under mollyhall’s pillow?
  • mollyhall, you HAVE a food cupboard, what good is a food cupboard if you don’t—
  • oh, crap.

she belly flopped onto the floor. i mean, the girl bounced. and then she just laid there. mrs. f looked at her. elle looked at her. i looked at her, still mostly in the closet. we were all going to get category 4 restriction forever.

ginna said, “hi, mrs. f. i feel like i should explain.”

So basically.

This one day in school, you were told to go to class. You didnt. And then some girl who tried to hide in the ceiling fell through.

  • wasnt that 
  • so
  • much
  • quicker?

"a man goes fishing." - hemingway

Also, lol at this zach person having an opinion about… anything. You think it’s super clever to conflate KONY2012 with Ferguson - every idea you’ll ever have is garbage.

In other news, molly you need a minder. I’d nominate xkit guy but they’ve really got enough problems.

gaypee:

forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember

sourwolf:

fics where they both think it’s unrequited pining

image

enter-the-putang:

shesalittlecraycray:

proteinpills:

occupyallstreets:

Richard Haste, an NYPD officer, killed an unarmed black teen (Ramarley Graham) in front of his grandmother and 6-year-old brother at point blank range over marijuana. The landlady, Paulet Minzie, 55, ran out the shower with only a towel after hearing the gunshots. Officers then put a gun to her head and told her to put her hands up. It wasn’t until she told them that there were cameras surveilling them, that they put their guns down.
Court papers say “[He\] immediately lowered his weapon. His demeanor completely changed, and he alerted his colleague that they may be on camera,”. The footage later revealed that Graham walked calmly to his apartment followed by police barging in without a warrant, contradicting the officers original claim that the teenager was running away from him. (Source)
Haste was freed on $50,000 bail yesterday after pleading not guilty. Police cheered for him as the parents of Graham wept in the court room.

Genocide.

Murderers. Evil filthy murderers. I hate the police.

Fucking disgusting

enter-the-putang:

shesalittlecraycray:

proteinpills:

occupyallstreets:

Richard Haste, an NYPD officer, killed an unarmed black teen (Ramarley Graham) in front of his grandmother and 6-year-old brother at point blank range over marijuana. The landlady, Paulet Minzie, 55, ran out the shower with only a towel after hearing the gunshots. Officers then put a gun to her head and told her to put her hands up. It wasn’t until she told them that there were cameras surveilling them, that they put their guns down.

Court papers say “[He\] immediately lowered his weapon. His demeanor completely changed, and he alerted his colleague that they may be on camera,”. The footage later revealed that Graham walked calmly to his apartment followed by police barging in without a warrant, contradicting the officers original claim that the teenager was running away from him. (Source)

Haste was freed on $50,000 bail yesterday after pleading not guilty. Police cheered for him as the parents of Graham wept in the court room.

Genocide.

Murderers. Evil filthy murderers. I hate the police.

Fucking disgusting

my aunt came home from vacation and told me this story

indigoswankster:

defekait:

my aunt went to cape cod with her husband and brother and they went to the beach and she was flying a kite when this guy came up to her and said “ooh whatre you doing with that kite?” and being the sassy bitch my aunt is, said “im air fishing" without looking at him so he just says "…ok" and walks away and she looked over and her husband and brother were cracking up and it turns out she dissed justin timberlake

image

tmirai:

soundlyawake:

melissaannandthecool:

Just a reminder

wait…that’s…real?

Yep. A real thing. And one of their reasons was, essentially, because they don’t want employers -not- hiring women because they fear lawsuits from not paying them fair wages.
Can’t make that up.

tmirai:

soundlyawake:

melissaannandthecool:

Just a reminder

wait…that’s…real?

Yep. A real thing. And one of their reasons was, essentially, because they don’t want employers -not- hiring women because they fear lawsuits from not paying them fair wages.

Can’t make that up.

railroadsoftware:


This is a wildlife bridge in the Netherlands. Wildlife bridges are designed to help animals cross busy highways in safety. They don’t just protect wildlife from being hit by cars - they also connect fragmented habitats and help populations intermingle and breed. 
The Netherlands is leading the way in designing these bridges. The country is home to more than 600 similar crossings.


this is some Animal Crossing stuff

railroadsoftware:

This is a wildlife bridge in the Netherlands. Wildlife bridges are designed to help animals cross busy highways in safety. They don’t just protect wildlife from being hit by cars - they also connect fragmented habitats and help populations intermingle and breed. 


The Netherlands is leading the way in designing these bridges. The country is home to more than 600 similar crossings.

this is some Animal Crossing stuff

boys-and-suicide:

weird-amphibious-dolphin:

kiei:

Super Mario vs Pacman by Unknown

This was a ride from beginning to end

This was so entertaining to watch

boys-and-suicide:

weird-amphibious-dolphin:

kiei:

Super Mario vs Pacman by Unknown

This was a ride from beginning to end

This was so entertaining to watch

knitmeapony:

Sort of Incorrect Les Miserables Lyrics — You’re the One That I Want

No, that looks right to me.

kellerprocess:

skull-bearer:

I think the best assesment of the scene I ever saw was in heydon’tjudgeme's recap:

'I imagine Pentecost is at the same emotional level as watching your kid’s first football game and getting interrupted because your dumb nephew blew up the concession stand.'

That comment is golden.

New England can you fck off rn

New England can you fck off rn

JK Rowling’s and Evanna Lynch’s twitter conversation